Crafts Business Magazine

Artists wear many occupational hats, and the artist's beret is just one of them. We may not be certified, licensed, or degreed, but we have earned every stripe from the school of hard knocks. Some of our many jobs include:

Long-distance hauler – Remember the song "Convoy" by C.W. McCall? One of us could have written it. When I read a fellow craftsman did over 30 shows a year, my first thought was, "Wow, he could be union!" Last year a show electrician came by my booth as I was packing up to go home and commented I was the only craftsman he'd ever seen doing shows with a normal car (i.e., without a U-haul or very large van). I told him it was the only show I drove to, but I did enlist the help of two other friends with cars.

Supply-line manager – This occupation gained new importance in the modern world of "on-demand manufacturing." We artists have been doing it for years. Making sure you have all the widgets and thingamagummies on hand to fill an order can be a life career in and of itself. Who hasn't gone to fill a major order, only to find you're out of one tiny crucial component, and your only supplier is backordered? And their entire staff is off-site for the week for a seminar on team building?

Diplomat – Artists have always known how to diffuse hostile situations. This year I introduced a bear to my line of animal sculptures. The third customer to enter my booth stopped in her tracks when she saw them. "Oh, look!" she exclaimed to her companion. "Manatees!" Of course, I stayed calm and composed in order to make the sale.

Electrical engineer – I've been terrified of electricity ever since I plugged in a vacuum cleaner and the socket caught fire. I am one of those people who think electricity can leak out of sockets onto the floor. And yet, after going through four lighting systems for my booth (and contemplating a fifth), I can now rewire a fixture, I can appreciate three-wire grounded plugs and I can tell the difference between wattage and voltage. Minor triumphs, to be sure, but my own.

Mother – No matter how awful the show is, no matter how much money you realize you're losing by simply being there, no matter how hard you worked and it's still stinky, no matter how much your feet hurt and no matter how tired you are, when your booth neighbor comes in sobbing because her cat ran away while she was at the show, you have to hug her. Because it might be you who needs the hug next time.

Materials scientist – My personal bete noir in this field is glue. I'm thinking of the myriad forms of glue I experiment with while developing that new product I'm working on. I never knew there were so many different things that are supposed to stick two things together. ("Supposed to" being the operative words here.) Unfortunately, despite the screaming promises on the package: "All Purpose!" "Colorless, Odorless, Waterproof!" "Bonds Everything!" No, it isn't, no, it's not, and no, it won't. And you will always find this out two hours before you're supposed to ship one to a customer.

Photo stylist – That's not clutter in my studio; it's a photo stylist's dream. Because my photographer said so!

Lawyer – Because if you can read the fine print of the form for shipping your booth to a trade show and don't have to ask for help to figure it out, you could do this job.

Paramedic – Because of what your heart does when you receive the bill for the same.

Janitor – You didn't think somebody else was going to clean up after you, did you?

Behavioral psychologist – Why? Why did they walk by my booth and not even look? Why did they look and not even come in? Why did they come in and look and not even buy something? Why did they love my work and only take a brochure? Why do they come in, read my artist statement about a prehistoric cave inspiring my work, look at the wall hangings that obviously involve hundreds of hours of work, examine the jewelry with ancient animal motifs, and then turn to me and ask, "Do you do golden retrievers?"

Cognitive therapist – Why am I still doing this?

Personal coach – Because I love it!